Rigor by iAdiatu of Mutespeak

Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth

But only such a word as is good edification according to the moment of need

That it would give grace to those who hear…

But I have fallen from my grace…

Eyes swollen shut

Look left look right open as wide as I can

But all I saw was the variations of lights and shadows that flickered across my eyelids

Looking for an entrance…a sliver…

Palms beat down bloody on the ground

Knees dribbling forming rivers of ruby red wine

I had reached my lowest point.

So I had spent two days kneeling before an alter

Relinquishing nothing but words of hope and insanity

That mixed together to form something of a wild animal

But God knows all languages

And mine seemed to change as the desperation in my tone grew and decreased

With my feelings of being alone

I sat there with my comfort that my time had finally come to be scattered

Scattered?

No…

He said who so ever shall call upon the lord shall be saved

Yet My throat had called so clamorously

That it sounded like the thunder had clashed with the waves

Yet my God still didn’t call for me

Everything that mattered I had lost…

No money

No job

No family

And no roof except for this spiritual roof that I sheltered myself with

But this roof had grown heavy and worn with the rains that has battered its skin

And it was ready to come down…

The thoughts creeps in my mind

Like a lingering ebola virus…

Always there ready to come back harder than before

Eating away at my flimsy hope

Entrancing me to a light at the opposite end of the tunnel

And I walked in the direction as the dark angel possessed the shell that was left of me

Then I was no more but a corpse

Waiting to draw my last painful breath…

Inhale…Exhale…My lungs swell against the dagger that ruptured its hope

And as I lay there waiting for Azrael to take my soul

I heard the voice of God’s messenger as he knelt beside me…

He said

“My child…

Have you no faith that your God did not forsake you…

Have you no love for the gift he gave you…

The gift of life for where there is life there is hope…

But now you have taken away your courage your strength

And abandoned your spirit to leave your body open

The lord is not slow to fulfill his promise

For in this hope we are saved.

Now hope that is seen is not hope.

For who hopes for what he sees?

But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience.”

But his words fell on deaf ears…

It was too late…

I was already gone

Rigor mortis settling in as my thoughts passed over to the hereafter…

 

-By

Mutespeak

iAdiatu