Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth
But only such a word as is good edification according to the moment of need
That it would give grace to those who hear…
But I have fallen from my grace…
Eyes swollen shut
Look left look right open as wide as I can
But all I saw was the variations of lights and shadows that flickered across my eyelids
Looking for an entrance…a sliver…
Palms beat down bloody on the ground
Knees dribbling forming rivers of ruby red wine
I had reached my lowest point.
So I had spent two days kneeling before an alter
Relinquishing nothing but words of hope and insanity
That mixed together to form something of a wild animal
But God knows all languages
And mine seemed to change as the desperation in my tone grew and decreased
With my feelings of being alone
I sat there with my comfort that my time had finally come to be scattered
Scattered?
No…
He said who so ever shall call upon the lord shall be saved
Yet My throat had called so clamorously
That it sounded like the thunder had clashed with the waves
Yet my God still didn’t call for me
Everything that mattered I had lost…
No money
No job
No family
And no roof except for this spiritual roof that I sheltered myself with
But this roof had grown heavy and worn with the rains that has battered its skin
And it was ready to come down…
The thoughts creeps in my mind
Like a lingering ebola virus…
Always there ready to come back harder than before
Eating away at my flimsy hope
Entrancing me to a light at the opposite end of the tunnel
And I walked in the direction as the dark angel possessed the shell that was left of me
Then I was no more but a corpse
Waiting to draw my last painful breath…
Inhale…Exhale…My lungs swell against the dagger that ruptured its hope
And as I lay there waiting for Azrael to take my soul
I heard the voice of God’s messenger as he knelt beside me…
He said
“My child…
Have you no faith that your God did not forsake you…
Have you no love for the gift he gave you…
The gift of life for where there is life there is hope…
But now you have taken away your courage your strength
And abandoned your spirit to leave your body open
The lord is not slow to fulfill his promise
For in this hope we are saved.
Now hope that is seen is not hope.
For who hopes for what he sees?
But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience.”
But his words fell on deaf ears…
It was too late…
I was already gone
Rigor mortis settling in as my thoughts passed over to the hereafter…
-By
Mutespeak
iAdiatu
